Wednesday, November 23, 2011

unbearable ennui

"ennui is the echo in us
of time tearing itself apart."
-emile m. cioran

perhaps it is the onset of the holiday season. a season that has not been a favorite these past several years. can i be so shallow as to lose interest in the holidays simply because i am alone? is it because my family lives so far away? or because i still live in the same house, the same town, that holds so many broken dreams and the sad memories of yet another failed romance? because the holidays are filled with families celebrating life together? because they are filled with loved ones displaying affection? and yet, i know these things are all aspects that will rise and fall away. change. have nothing to do with my inner sense of peace. and yet, this blanket of ennui wraps tightly about my heart and soul. dulls colors and cheer.

a little thread chanting is in order...and my grand start on the dia de los muertos cloth has been neglected of late.



  1. the holidays are mean sometimes...

  2. i understand your feelings about the holidays. why can't people celebrate everyday instead of the exaggerated way it is done on the holidays.
    that's some beautiful embroidery i see. that would cheer me up.

  3. the cloth is looking good.. the british say cheers, so.. hip hip hurray! we're still here! (giving thanks for the internet!)
    love and peace

  4. WOW, that cloth is looking amazing, beautiful bright colours (you know I am a sucker for colour). Stitch the ennui, stitch it down! Also, when I feel a bit shitty, I like to cuss in stitch, it beats that ennui hard on the ass, with a bat. See my latest post for an example of Ennui ass beating :)

  5. The colors are so cheerful...maybe it'll do the trick :)
    This year has many mixed feelings for me too. I agree with Deanna...the expectation is so huge. I wish we could let all of that go and just be. But, even then, the missing jumps in and we have to just do the best we can.
    Take care.

  6. thanks to all y'all! yes, jude, the holidays are mean sometimes...and sometimes they are not. the bright colors do help lighten the mood, deanna and nancy! perhaps that's why i keep coming back to that cloth right now?

    ooooh! definitely cheers to the internet, manya! it does make such a difference at times when one is feeling isolated. :)

    let me take a moment to put on my asbestos underpants, tallulah, and i'll be on my way into the middle of your ass beating! yeehaw!

  7. Love the dia de los muertos piece.

    Because I am out in the retail world, the Holidays represent a lot of hard work and a sense of dread. I try to focus on the little things that make me smile and bring a sense of joy.

    A cup of coffee, quiet time to stitch, etc.

  8. i agree about the holidays. who does like them?
    i do like the lights. i also like your stitching. it is so good..
    the year i got a divorce was the worst and i left the country two years afterwards on the holidays.
    the sleeves are really intricate. must have been painful. you are braver than you think

  9. hey Joe I am so pleased to have met you xx What a wonderful blog - hello from the UK

  10. oh, marie! i shudder to remember my days in retail at this time of year! my heart goes out to you!

    linda, i would love to have left the country after my breakup! had even entertained the idea. but i figured the heartbreak was going to go with me where ever i went, and so stayed and shut myself away from the world instead. it's great to be back in the world amongst so many wondrous people. both online and off! oh, and yes, the sleeve was/is very painful. there are 18 hours into it already, and still many to go as i will next be joining the upper and lower pieces and adding the shoulder cap. but there is plenty of time for that...

    welcome, clare! it's a pleasure to meet you as well. i look forward to our journey together!