"of all the things we can feel
with our minds and bodies,
severe pain is the purest,
for it drives everything else
from our awareness and
focuses us as perfectly
as we can ever be focused."
there are all kinds of pain in this life. sometimes, when we aren't paying attention, one pain attracts another. then another. then still more... mine started with a debilitating back pain. the doctors, still practicing their medicine, were unsure as to its cause. they could find no physical reason for it. stress, then, it was decided. overwork. considering the work hours i keep, this is not implausible by any stretch of the imagination.
rest is prescribed. but too much rest brought new pains. pains in the upper back. the neck. and, eventually, in the heart. funny how pain begets pain. how it knows its cousins and invites them nearer without hesitation.
but there comes a time when one must throw unwanted and unwelcome guests out of one's home! strange, though, how some pains linger long after they have been evicted. need to fade into memory rather than be vigorously ousted.
i picked up my scraps and needle again yesterday. the heart above is the result. well, the woven background cloth was the result. the heart and wings i started today. i have many more paisley feathers to add. not to mention tons of stitching to do before this one will be finished. but i'm taking baby steps. this will be slow going. and i have so many other cloths whispering my name. clamoring for long-overdue attention.
i'm back to work and my physical pains still rattle their chains from time to time...especially when sitting for too long in a straight backed chair, so i can't spend too much time at the computer.
i will be here regularly now, god willing and the creeks don't rise...or so i used to hear frequently as a child. though, it would seem, the creeks are already protesting:
we've had such rainy weather here these past couple weeks...
but even in the heaviest rainfall, spring still clears her throat and reminds us she is here:
and so, too, am i.
p.s. some of you have asked about the kanji script that i place at the end of each of my posts... it is my name in japanese, translated by a dear friend of mine in kyoto. its pronunciation is very close to my english name, joe, and the character itself means prosperity.