moon, soft and wild

 “everyone is a moon,

and has a dark side

which he never shows to anybody.”

-mark twain

three years have trudged through the darkness. my last post added at the onset of a world pandemic that extinguished millions of bright sparks. my bodhi expired shortly thereafter after seeing me through some of the darkest years of my life and there was nothing i could do but hold him as he passed and remember the joy he brought me. plunged into deep depression, my life was strained. bear lifted me up daily and helped me find my way through it all. 

there is light and joy in my life now, thanks to him. none (at least, not much) of this was on display to the “outside.”  glimpses of light were shared in short form on instagram and mirrored on facebook. here, however, has always been a deeper, more raw space. looking so deep was not an option… but it is time i wake up. stop hiding from the depths. the depths are where the shadows lie, true. the depths are also where the wells of joy reside!

bodhi left such a rift in my heart that i was unable to bring home another, even still. critters have a mysterious way, however, of filling these voids whether or not we would them. this is cat.  

we rescued a starving, tiny fluff ball a few months ago from the jaws and talons of a gargantuan owl that had already swallowed his mother and five siblings. we weren’t even sure he’d make it through the night when we heard his pitiful cries from his hiding space beneath his mother’s carcass in the field behind the scale house (i’m working again, at a different special waste landfill for the oil fields), but his spirit is valiant! he now keeps our scale house free from mice and has worked his way into all of our hearts (even that of those who are “confirmed dislikers of cats”).  working with a bunch of redneck operators, he was almost named something crude and vulgar, until the voice of reason (was that me?) commanded the reins of this particular naming carriage and dubbed him “cat, the poor slob without a name.” yes, i am indeed a fanboy of breakfast at tiffany’s and all things audrey hepburn! cat fulfills my need for a furry in my life, but being a shop cat keeps him safe from breaking my heart again (or so i’ve convinced myself…ssshhhh…don’t try to convince me otherwise!).