moon, soft and wild

 “everyone is a moon,

and has a dark side

which he never shows to anybody.”

-mark twain

three years have trudged through the darkness. my last post added at the onset of a world pandemic that extinguished millions of bright sparks. my bodhi expired shortly thereafter after seeing me through some of the darkest years of my life and there was nothing i could do but hold him as he passed and remember the joy he brought me. plunged into deep depression, my life was strained. bear lifted me up daily and helped me find my way through it all. 

there is light and joy in my life now, thanks to him. none (at least, not much) of this was on display to the “outside.”  glimpses of light were shared in short form on instagram and mirrored on facebook. here, however, has always been a deeper, more raw space. looking so deep was not an option… but it is time i wake up. stop hiding from the depths. the depths are where the shadows lie, true. the depths are also where the wells of joy reside!

bodhi left such a rift in my heart that i was unable to bring home another, even still. critters have a mysterious way, however, of filling these voids whether or not we would them. this is cat.  

we rescued a starving, tiny fluff ball a few months ago from the jaws and talons of a gargantuan owl that had already swallowed his mother and five siblings. we weren’t even sure he’d make it through the night when we heard his pitiful cries from his hiding space beneath his mother’s carcass in the field behind the scale house (i’m working again, at a different special waste landfill for the oil fields), but his spirit is valiant! he now keeps our scale house free from mice and has worked his way into all of our hearts (even that of those who are “confirmed dislikers of cats”).  working with a bunch of redneck operators, he was almost named something crude and vulgar, until the voice of reason (was that me?) commanded the reins of this particular naming carriage and dubbed him “cat, the poor slob without a name.” yes, i am indeed a fanboy of breakfast at tiffany’s and all things audrey hepburn! cat fulfills my need for a furry in my life, but being a shop cat keeps him safe from breaking my heart again (or so i’ve convinced myself…ssshhhh…don’t try to convince me otherwise!).

small journies

my favorite thing to do

is go where i've never been

even if only in my imagination

in this strange new world where travel is nearly impossible, or at best inadvisable, we have to find new ways to explore. for me, it has manifested in a series of diminutive stitcheries. tiny worlds filled with stars and moons and bears and hares and trees. story fragments of cobble cloth.

it's amazing, the places and things i've seen while sitting in my studio with a steaming cup of coffee! i wonder where i'll go next? who i might meet?

namaste'

like alchemy...

"my work

is like a dialogue

between me and 

unseen powers,

like alchemy.'

-cai gua-qiang

delving into unknown territory today...  first "what if" was to rust dye in layers.  wrapped my salvage fragment around the band from an old whiskey cask to dye a large, summer moon.  once dyed, i dunked the fragment back into the vinegar water and then stretched it out on a plastic sheet and laid the metal tree cut out on it, smoothing the wet cloth gently to remove wrinkles and distortions, then carefully folded the fragment back onto itself to get the second tree image rusted in....all the while, being meticulous in keeping any part of the cloth off of the moon so as not to accidentally transfer the first image back into an unwanted area of the cloth.

i was very happy with my initial results...except that all this carefulness left the image a bit stark for my taste.  what to do? what to do?  okay....here's a thought...grab some of the rust mush from the bottom of the dunk tank and spread it around to create clouds and ground after another dip in the vinegar water!    i'm liking this so much better already.  only thing is...i have no idea how this will turn out.  i've never used rust mush to dye with before.  it's just the rusty flakings from the floorboard of my international that i dumped into the dunk tank to act as a rust starter.  it's black.  i don't know why.  but it is.  i don't know if it'll turn orange and rust like any other rusty metal. or if it will dye the fragment black or grey.  or if it will just sit there stubbornly. sticking its tongue out at me and do nothing to color the cloth.  i shall just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow...  isn't it exciting?!?

namaste'

silent sunday - 10/7/12