feathering a heart

"i would rather have eyes that cannot see; 

ears that cannot hear;

lips that cannot speak,

than a heart that cannot love"

-robert tizon

still feathering my heart. digging through scraps and salvage, looking for paisley feathers. have a few more to add and then will probably start tacking them down tonight. then dive into the thread nest to find some appropriate strands.

this piece speaks deeply to my own heart. there is an element of the phoenix inherent here. while broken too many times, it rises to soar, and love, again. and again. the cloth is still whispering. sometimes too quiet to hear clearly unless i hold my breath and concentrate fully. while i may not be clear as to where it will be going, i am quite certain it will unfold as it needs to...

namaste'

more flooding in and around billings

there are no words. it's terrifying.

rising creeks, fading pain, and picking up the needles again

"of all the things we can feel

with our minds and bodies,

severe pain is the purest,

for it drives everything else

from our awareness and

focuses us as perfectly

as we can ever be focused."

-dean koontz

there are all kinds of pain in this life. sometimes, when we aren't paying attention, one pain attracts another.  then another. then still more...  mine started with a debilitating back pain. the doctors, still practicing their medicine, were unsure as to its cause. they could find no physical reason for it. stress, then, it was decided. overwork. considering the work hours i keep, this is not implausible by any stretch of the imagination.

rest is prescribed. but too much rest brought new pains. pains in the upper back. the neck. and, eventually, in the heart. funny how pain begets pain. how it knows its cousins and invites them nearer without hesitation.

but there comes a time when one must throw unwanted and unwelcome guests out of one's home!  strange, though, how some pains linger long after they have been evicted.  need to fade into memory rather than be vigorously ousted.

i picked up my scraps and needle again yesterday. the heart above is the result. well, the woven background cloth was the result. the heart and wings i started today.  i have many more paisley feathers to add. not to mention tons of stitching to do before this one will be finished.  but i'm taking baby steps. this will be slow going. and i have so many other cloths whispering my name. clamoring for long-overdue attention. 

i'm back to work and my physical pains still rattle their chains from time to time...especially when sitting for too long in a straight backed chair, so i can't spend too much time at the computer.

i will be here regularly now, god willing and the creeks don't rise...or so i used to hear frequently as a child. though, it would seem, the creeks are already protesting:

we've had such rainy weather here these past couple weeks...

but even in the heaviest rainfall, spring still clears her throat and reminds us she is here:

and so, too, am i.

namaste'






p.s. some of you have asked about the kanji script that i place at the end of each of my posts...  it is my name in japanese, translated by a dear friend of mine in kyoto.  its pronunciation is very close to my english name, joe, and the character itself means prosperity.

weaving pain and life together

we must embrace pain

and burn it as fuel for our journey.

-kenji miyazawa

pain is a strange animal. sometimes purfying. other times debilitating. but no matter the elemental quality or intensity, life must go on.  i've necessarily returned to work and the tens unit has proven invaluable toward easing this union.  it is healing. but the process is slow. painstaking. (ok, that deserves the groan!)

thank you, all, for such support, prayers and streams of healing energy. every moment of it has been greatly appreciated, though i have not been online to express my gratitude.  every fiber of love and support is returned in great abundance!

i thought i would find a lot of time this past week to stitch. but, instead, found myself sleeping most of the time...  perhaps this week will be different. i have a stack (or two or five) of ragged fabrics languishing. dreaming of possibilities. i hope to afford them manifestation soon...

namaste'

fun at hospital...not!

sorry i've been absent for the past few days, but i had a run in with hospital. well. i had to run in to hospital, to be more accurate.  i threw my back out and pinched a nerve somehow and have been on bed rest and using a tens unit to alleviate the pain (not to mention some heavy pain meds) and to help it to heal.  this means that i've had limited internet access other than through my android. i'm home now and taking it slow and easy, so hope to be back online more regularly soon. i've been missing my online friends and creative outlets! at least now i get to lay in bed and stitch for a few days!

namaste'