bunnies and bernards

whenever i find myself sitting idle, i long to grab a fragment and needle chant a while.  i don't always act on those longings these days. sometimes i breathe into the idleness and just sit with it. relaxing and simply being. i know, for me, this can be an escape.  from what, i'm not certain. so i remind myself how fulfilling the needle and thread can be. allow it to become the meditation that it can be.  to that end, i found myself stitching away at my little purple bunny this evening.  

after an enriching bit of of time with cloth fragments and thread, i took bodhi for a ride.  my little teacup saint bernard. or so i keep telling him.  only 16 months and already 150.6 pounds of puppy. he takes up every bit of bench seat in my truck that isn't already occupied by my own butt.  he loves to spend time with his daddy.  the feeling is mutual.

namaste'

colors speak louder than words

"clouds come floating

into my life, no longer

to carry rain or usher storm,

but to add color to my sunset sky."

-rabindranath tagore

while posting on my instagram account about how i love digging through this oversized basket of hand dyed threads with which to spill a bit of colour on cloth on a rainy day, i was struck by my hoarding tendencies when it comes to art supplies. do i have a problem? should i seek help? divest myself of my treasures? comply with normality??

...nah! not when it allows me to manifest bunnies like this little guy soaking up a little rusty sunshine:

yeah, yeah...i know...he's purple! but he wanted to be purple. honestly!  i'd better get back to stitching him. having only a sketchy body is making him nervous...

namasté

piecing and musing

still sitting in a piecing sort of mood these days. this patriotic pinwheel is coming together quite nicely as a result.  it will make a festive table cloth for upcoming summer festivities by the fire pit! being smaller, and most likely to need frequent cleaning, i think i shall machine quilt this one.  usually, i would rent a long-arm machine, but since it is not so large, i will work on my home machine quilting skills.  it's been a while, so perhaps a few scraps for practice might be wise. ha!

namaste'

giving way

"the creative process

is a process of surrender,

not control."

-julia cameron

having these past few weeks off from work, i've been gifted with something very precious. time. time to contemplate. time to invest in myself. my surroundings. my art.  time for things i have had very little time for these past couple years.  while physical limitations have demanded that i find ways of creating things using a different process than i have become accustomed to, they have also encouraged me to think in new ways. as well as to re-discover old ways.

creatively, i find myself falling back onto past processes with cloth. oiling up the treadle machine and piecing blocks. like these hearts above.  traditional piecing. even traditional quilting fabrics, for i have an extensive collection of quilting fabrics that have languished while i have jumped headlong into salvage and repurposed cloth. ignored for no reason other than my desire to control how i express my creativity. to direct its every movement. stifling it along the way without even realizing it.

i have always been about control. control over myself. my process. my plans.  i know that this sense of control is an illusion. but it is an enticing illusion. full of empty promises that delight the self's desire to be at the helm.  i have seen how grasping for this sense of control can kill one's creativity.  throwing up fences and laying down rules. squelching any real sense of manifesting one's art. one's self.  one must find a way to surrender. to the moment. each moment. to allow the creative process to emerge. whether that creative process is enacted through artistic endeavours, one's employment, cooking a meal, or any other daily task of living.

it's all about the surrender. allowing. being.

namaste'

completion

"the little dissatisfaction

which every artist feels

at the completion of a work

forms the germ

of a new work."

-berthold auerbach

when i came across auerbach's quote (above) some quiet self inside whispered "yes". another pondered "hmmmm". though i have always asserted that the reason i have so many unfinished projects going at one time was because i get bored so very easily and it allows me the freedom to change things up a bit, i'm now beginning to wonder if perhaps it is more an avoidance of dissatisfaction? could it really be....ooooh, a puppy! ha!

some stems to plant the flowers firmly on the ground, and leaves giving wings to those in the air and this little spring cloth is completed. in a way. it has no backing as i haven't decided what it will become as yet. perhaps a simple little smile of fiber all on its own to find its way into a frame or a book or some empty space somewhere. though i seem to recall having a couple other bunny cloths hopping about in the studio that may now seek completion and perhaps some unifying force to form a larger cloth of bunnies. only time will answer this small mystery.

in the meantime, little dissatisfaction over completions aside, it feels good to actually finish something for a change. perhaps this year will be one of completions? this is not to say that i won't start new journeys in cloth and thread, but rather that interspersed between the emergence of new cloths i shall begin to see more completions than in the past.  i rather like this feeling of completion.

namaste'

getting somewhere

the first step toward getting somewhere

is to decide that you are not going

to stay where you are...

spring has made several false starts these past weeks. the icy grip of winter always seems to tighten its grasp and chase the warm winds away just as we begin to enjoy their touch. perhaps a little bunny energy will help spring along...

sometimes all it takes is the gumption to make another start. whether it be fresh and brand new or picking up something from before and starting again, it will always propel you in a new direction!

namaste'

a little splash of color

just a little splash of color to bring some life to this little calavera! there's still much to do before he will be finished, but he seems to be off to a good start. i'm really enjoying the somewhat sketchy nature of the underlying machine stitched free-motion work. it plays nicely with the hand stitches. adds movement and interest. i may have to explore this a little more.

namaste'

choose to use your wings

no one can

do it for you...

choose to use

your wings

i saw this quote on a greeting card somewhere. it has played hide and seek in my memories for years. today it landed on my shoulder and whispered demands to be noted. there is still more to be done before this small cloth can be considered completed. but it is a good start...

my eyes were delighted by this today.

namaste'

on painted wing

i needed to drink in some color before diving into the growing pile of darkly hued salvage for the new story cloth, box of darkness. to quench that thirst, i pulled out this little creature that began to emerge back here out of some lovely gifted cloth hand-dyed by deb. i had originally inked in a few wispy lines to suggest a wing on the left side. she whispered. i listened and painted in a set of "proper" wings. then stitched and knotted. satisfied whispers ensued. there is much to unfold and manifest before the whispers will soften and begin revealing their stories...but we are both content with this new development for the moment.

namaste'

storm clouds rumbling

"i am not afraid of storms,

for i am learning how

to sail my ship."

-louisa may alcott, "little women"

an army of storm clouds are rumbling across the big montana sky tonight after a day of posturing and shouting and spitting at the beartooths and the crazies. i had hoped to take the beast out for a ride today before sending him down for his new coat of paint. but for my need for sleep between night shifts and the chaotic skies, i thought better of it and let the beast slumber on, tucked safely away in his garage.

tonight found my fingers whispering and basting the tumultuous waves and frolicking bunnies beneath the clouds and the quiet rabbit moon while the rest of the cottage slept peacefully. there is much needle chanting to be done next. but, for the moment, my fingers are at peace and the rabbits will jump and play without me...

namaste'

the quiet blush of a hesitant spring

i find myself moving more slowly these days. more deliberately. with a deeper sense of presence. is it the hesitant arrival of spring, gently pulling my awareness out of winter's slumber? whatever the reason, my attention is more closely focused on each breath. each stitch. each moment. there is a connection between my quiet heart and this sleeping rabbit. an anticipation. . .

next to summon the clouds. . .

namaste'

rabbit moon

"while the moon

floats over the ocean,

a rabbit runs

over the waves."

-ancient noh poem

this motif is very popular in japanese decoration and tells the story of a rabbit who crosses the ocean from okino island to inaba by using the backs of sharks as stepping stones. not favoring sharks much myself, i've chosen to have my rabbits romping in the waves beneath a sleeping rabbit moon instead. the salvaged and stitched cloth to the right of my sketch is the background for this panorama and is only a seed for manifesting these whispers... but i had to start this journey tonight to fill the long, quiet hours while the elders sleep and the laundry dances in the mud room. next, i shall begin work on the sleeping rabbit moon... it seems that my unusual habit of maintaining a box of scraps and salvage fabric in the back of my truck has proven useful once again!

namaste'

no dust yet

"an idea can turn to

dust or magic,

depending upon the talent

that rubs against it."

-william bernbach

just a start on needle chanting the whispers from deb's wondrous cuss pot! my friend says the character looks rather like a carrot wearing a wild sash...though, i'm quite certain she is wrong about that one... there is still plenty more chanting and whispering to go... all the fabrics, including the backing cloth, came from deb's generous gifts (the background is from a cloth burrito she sent months ago and only recently found again), with the one, small exception of the the little polka dotted strip that was found clinging to the side of my dining room table...

namate'

persevering gently...

"go on working

freely and furiously

and you will

make progress."

-paul gauguin

last week i slashed three of my finger tips with a sharp knife at work. it is amazing how many nerve endings reside in such small spaces! it also boggles the mind how much we use these small spaces in nearly everything we do...

i'm only just today getting back to thread chanting and cloth making. the first to make her whispers heard was this odd little plumed owl-creature, llorona. a secret keeper. like some, my secrets haunt me. so i whisper them to llorona to ease my burden. many whisper their secrets upon the winds for llorona to hear. to keep. her wings are burdened with so many secrets. so many sorrows. she can no longer fly from the weight of them. but she continues to listen. to keep. to dream...

there is still much work to be done on llorona, but she wanted to put in an appearance to help me not think about the snow that is falling outside...

namaste'

still standing in the snow...

tonight's arctic storm has inspired me to pull out the old man in the snow winter cloth and work a bit more on him as the snow continues to waft down around the cottage. he isn't really a "santa clause" so it doesn't matter that xmas has already been packed away once again into its boxes for yet another year. does it? not in my demented world in any case...  perhaps he will be in need of friends? either way, there is still a lot of thread chanting to be done before he has whispered his stories into the cold, snowy night air.

meanwhile, i am in full gratitude for the crackling fire that burns on in the hearth and the comfortable chair beneath my backside as i stitch into the wee hours of the morning...

namaste'

waiting for the man standing in the snow...

the holidays have been creeping around the corners of my awareness. these years past they have been a time of great sorrow and heartfelt pain. so, usually, like a sleeping lion, i allow them to sleep whenever possible. but, for some reason, they will not sleep this year. little piles of old cloth would congregate. and whisper. the din grew so great that i simply had to begin needle chanting them into existence. and so, this small cloth has begun manifesting beneath my busy fingers. there are miles to go before he has whispered his story into my ears. but he seems content with this start. a beard. a 'stache. a nose and crinkly eyes i think are next. perhaps a potted tree in his mittened hands will follow. from there, it would be any body's guess what he will require of me!

meanwhile...

i managed to pull out the "better camera" for those of you requesting more detailed pictures of the tiny nine patches that have been manifesting during my daily needle chanting sessions to clear my mind and kick start my creative energy.  it has been a struggle, attempting to stitch so large! 24+ stitches to the inch is just ginormous when compared to what i'm used to hand stitching lo these many years ago of miniature bearmaking and heirloom sewing. there are a host of inner muses screeching at me for allowing...no, intending...the stitches to show. for choosing variegated threads to heighten the effect. to not-so-blind stitch the seams, allowing the little dots to blatantly reside along either side of them. for allowing one of jude hill's magic fringes to grace the edge of one of the tiny squares. you'd almost swear the muses were harpies indeed! but i have stopped my ears with cotton wool to their cries and continued on... i am quite enjoying the added texture and visual interest created thereby! a little math scratched on a scrap of paper has informed me that i will need 480 of these little nine patches to create the queen sized bedcloth they aspire to be. which turns out to be 4,320 little squares of recycled and repurposed cloth! best not to think of it these terms, joe, lest you become quite overwhelmed and abandon all hope!

namaste'

the magic feather project and personal symbols

jude hill is hosting a wonderful charity event call the magic feather project. in her words, "the magic feather project is a collective stitching project focused on creative sharing and giving." it is an exciting adventure and has really rekindled a lot of sentiments in my own work as well as in others'! 

these two feathers pictured above are my first two for the project. the feather on the left is stitched on a 5" square of vintage silk slub changeable moire drapery from my childhood home (mom gifted me with the drapes for my first apartment...i've used them in various homes and finally retired them to my fabric stash). some feathers have journeyed farther...flown harder...soared higher...than others. though worn and tattered, their beauty still graces those who gaze upon them.  this feather is amongst others in this trait. no stripes for this one...though the line is a bit worn and tattered... it rests in the center where two circles come together (a personal symbol for home and hearth).  the feather on the right is a variation of jude's striped feather...but with polka dots...and rests on a 5" square of silk slub drapery retired from my first art studio.  it is flanked by polka dots and tiny "x's". i know there is personal meaning in them, but their whispers are too soft for me to hear right now...

throughout jude's workshops, she talks about personal symbols...and shows us their magic in her work.  i have always been aware of this concept in jude's work. but, for some reason, through this project, the idea and presence of personal symbols have taken on a new importance for me.  i find myself pondering late into the night on my own personal symbols...like the double circle in the first feather block above...and asian bats...coins...skulls...ganesh...leaves...twigs...holey stones...and a host of others.  already, ideas are germinating and new direction in my work is forming.  it will be interesting to begin to pay attention to that which was already there...and to watch those newly forming...as i move forward and release them in my artwork....

for this, and so much more, i am eternally grateful to jude...

namaste'

rising creeks, fading pain, and picking up the needles again

"of all the things we can feel

with our minds and bodies,

severe pain is the purest,

for it drives everything else

from our awareness and

focuses us as perfectly

as we can ever be focused."

-dean koontz

there are all kinds of pain in this life. sometimes, when we aren't paying attention, one pain attracts another.  then another. then still more...  mine started with a debilitating back pain. the doctors, still practicing their medicine, were unsure as to its cause. they could find no physical reason for it. stress, then, it was decided. overwork. considering the work hours i keep, this is not implausible by any stretch of the imagination.

rest is prescribed. but too much rest brought new pains. pains in the upper back. the neck. and, eventually, in the heart. funny how pain begets pain. how it knows its cousins and invites them nearer without hesitation.

but there comes a time when one must throw unwanted and unwelcome guests out of one's home!  strange, though, how some pains linger long after they have been evicted.  need to fade into memory rather than be vigorously ousted.

i picked up my scraps and needle again yesterday. the heart above is the result. well, the woven background cloth was the result. the heart and wings i started today.  i have many more paisley feathers to add. not to mention tons of stitching to do before this one will be finished.  but i'm taking baby steps. this will be slow going. and i have so many other cloths whispering my name. clamoring for long-overdue attention. 

i'm back to work and my physical pains still rattle their chains from time to time...especially when sitting for too long in a straight backed chair, so i can't spend too much time at the computer.

i will be here regularly now, god willing and the creeks don't rise...or so i used to hear frequently as a child. though, it would seem, the creeks are already protesting:

we've had such rainy weather here these past couple weeks...

but even in the heaviest rainfall, spring still clears her throat and reminds us she is here:

and so, too, am i.

namaste'






p.s. some of you have asked about the kanji script that i place at the end of each of my posts...  it is my name in japanese, translated by a dear friend of mine in kyoto.  its pronunciation is very close to my english name, joe, and the character itself means prosperity.

another milagro heart in progress

it would seem that the milagro heart genre has resonated with my inspirational soul, for i find myself sketching more and more of them. not to mention finding myself stitching them as well...though, perhaps, not as quickly.

i still have a very long way to go with this one:  threadwhispering to do to the crown, the textured velvet heart, and beyond; perhaps some envisioned beadwork...but i thought to share the inception of this deep heart.


once again, it is encircled with french knots, with more to manifest. but beyond their reach there is an illusion.  one might, at first glance, think i've stolen into jude hill's wondrous studio and liberated some of her magic thread!  but i have not ransacked her treasures...this is but a deception. a delusion. call it instead a semblance filament...or a déjè vu strand.  it is actually a grey back stitch wrapped in black thread.  oh, but the quiet promise of her magic resides therein...lucky heart indeed!

but now, i must sleep...and dream of magic threads and hearts with endless depths...

namaste'

amore perduto

there's this place in me 

where your fingerprints still rest, 

your kisses still linger, 

and your whispers softly echo. 

it's the place where a part of you 

will forever be a part of me...

-gretchen kemp 

amore perduto. love lost.  or perhaps even amore spezzato. love shattered.  indeed, some of the stitching adorning the heart looks as though it may have been shattered. once. twice.  i'm finally taking a moment here and there to dip into jude hill's whispering hearts mini series...  it feels wonderful to have the time free from work to allow my participation.  though hearts are not my first choice of subjects...  perhaps the series will assist in a transformation of this? if it had already...perchance the stitching might have read, "il mio cuore è per voi" instead of amore perduto.  but lost, for the moment, it already is... and so... andiamo!

there is still more to do to this piece.  more stitching. some embellishment. i'm uncertain what at the moment. so it shall rest a moment or two while i tackle another heart...

namaste'



edit - 4:40 a.m.:

already, i find myself feeling fickle toward this piece and have decided that i didn't care much for the text.  a simple wool selvedge mask seems to be a good start. a little stitching.  soon to be more.

 the message is still there.  only hidden.  like most heart scars.  there will need to be more layers...or more embellishment, for we are frequently good at masking pains of the heart...

 and some additional stitching to the heart and it's crown, just for good measure...

it's interesting to observe how one's mind makes unexpected leaps and diversions when one allows it some measure of freedom...

namaste'