shortly after beginning the remodel on my studio, two co-workers announced their immediate resignations due to school and other forces at work, and so i've been pitching in and working entirely too many hours... which, of course, has all but precluded any work in the studio. not that this has had all negative attributes, however...
i have been pushed into looking more closely at my work and my aspirations thereto. i have been shown a myriad of internal sabotaging ideas and thoughts. fears of success...and failure. unfounded personal views about myself. my work. it's crazy how these sorts of negative ideas can seep up into the fabric of your life, often without your even noticing until it is too late and they have woven themselves into everything that you do. so i am working on eradicating, or at least minimizing, these thoughts and ideas... seeking a more balanced view of myself and my work...
i have also discovered...or rather, realized, that i have little focus in my work at the moment. generally, i do not consider this a problem as i enjoy exploring avenues of creativity whenever they present themselves. but i am beginning to feel like i need to find at least one focus i can anchor the rest of my work upon. a theme. an idea. something.... i'm not entirely certain what this will be. i will be exploring some possibilities here in the coming weeks. meanwhile, i am applying myself to some of my many works in progress and will be seeking guidance from their quiet whispers...
perhaps the quiet hum of daily thread-chanting will whisper some direction? one can only remain open the possibilities...
to this end, i think i shall be listening more and talking less for a while...though i shall be more present here on my blog. more than likely there will be more pictures and less words? only time will tell...
namaste'
ah. so now i understand why you've been missing. i've never been able to focus on one or even two things as hard as i've tried. i'm all over the place as you well know but i'm happy this way so i continue. i don't fear failure. it's a prerequisite for success. wishing you the best.
ReplyDeletethank you, deanna. truth be told, i fear success more than failure. it has always been a nasty bugaboo of mine. and, as you know, too, i doubt i'll be able to focus on one thing...but would like to find a some sort of anchor. maybe something along the lines of jude's annual large cloth project? i dunno yet...
ReplyDeleteHi Joe, I have been to your blog just once but spied you over at Deanna's blog in her comments and came over to have a look see.. I love your delicious looking stitching above!! And I totally relate to the focus dilemma, I always felt that my varied interests made me unable to do a body of work that was important so to speak, but that isn't so i've discovered. I get obsessive about something and just do it till I can't and sometimes I'm just doing a little of this or a little of that.. until eventually I have many similar littles or many similar thats haha .. but in all it's part of my own exploration and maybe one day I'll just want to do that one thing .. but I doubt it. And ..fear of success .. i resonate with that .. sometimes I just feel like saying .. I just want to live!! Anyway .. I have to tell you .. don't think i've ever seen read or known a man that stitches like you .. and I can't imagine why not? Your work is beautiful. ANd I loved all those wonderful colorful cloths on the previous blog post.!! :)
ReplyDeletethis cloth above is very beauty full.
ReplyDeletei've checked for you, all along.
here you are.
xoxo
Beautiful stitching. I have been checking in, hoping all was well. I have frequent ceremonial burnings of those scraps of paper with the negative words. It helps a little. I have a hummingbird mind. I want to check out all the pretty flowers and find the one that fills me with joy. I used to hate this, but now I realize it is part of the journey. Stay well.
ReplyDeletegood to see you're back Joe, you've been missed. Focus is hard isn't it, when there's so much you can do - but then if you can't DO, there's nothing to focus on, which means that all those negative thinkings are just so much noise in your head. Inner rehearsals blowing on the wind of worry. Give 'em the push :-)
ReplyDeletePersonally my best answer to lack of focus is that I don't worry any more about the actual object of creativity, but instead the journey of growth in myself. There are probably a hundred unfinished items in my house, but just one that matters, me. I'm progressing on expressing. Much satisfaction there.
ReplyDeleteHello Joe, your post reminds me of a trick I used, when little, to do with my eyes...I'm very near-sighted, and in order to try to improve my vision, I learned to un-focus even more...to make more blur, and then, by flexing my eye muscles, try to sharpen the focus up again. I don't know if that describes it well enough, but it's my argument for how being unfocused for a spell can enhance the focus once it returns...xoxo
ReplyDeleteyou won't fail, just keep creating your wonderful work x
ReplyDeleteI've missed you Joe! I can relate to everything you say. I struggled with some paintings for months and now I have found my way and when you do you will see that it is all a miracle and you will be amazed at what comes. xoxo
ReplyDelete