“every colour
harbors its own soul”
-emil nolde
“every colour
harbors its own soul”
-emil nolde
“everyone is a moon,
and has a dark side
which he never shows to anybody.”
-mark twain
three years have trudged through the darkness. my last post added at the onset of a world pandemic that extinguished millions of bright sparks. my bodhi expired shortly thereafter after seeing me through some of the darkest years of my life and there was nothing i could do but hold him as he passed and remember the joy he brought me. plunged into deep depression, my life was strained. bear lifted me up daily and helped me find my way through it all.
there is light and joy in my life now, thanks to him. none (at least, not much) of this was on display to the “outside.” glimpses of light were shared in short form on instagram and mirrored on facebook. here, however, has always been a deeper, more raw space. looking so deep was not an option… but it is time i wake up. stop hiding from the depths. the depths are where the shadows lie, true. the depths are also where the wells of joy reside!
bodhi left such a rift in my heart that i was unable to bring home another, even still. critters have a mysterious way, however, of filling these voids whether or not we would them. this is cat.
we rescued a starving, tiny fluff ball a few months ago from the jaws and talons of a gargantuan owl that had already swallowed his mother and five siblings. we weren’t even sure he’d make it through the night when we heard his pitiful cries from his hiding space beneath his mother’s carcass in the field behind the scale house (i’m working again, at a different special waste landfill for the oil fields), but his spirit is valiant! he now keeps our scale house free from mice and has worked his way into all of our hearts (even that of those who are “confirmed dislikers of cats”). working with a bunch of redneck operators, he was almost named something crude and vulgar, until the voice of reason (was that me?) commanded the reins of this particular naming carriage and dubbed him “cat, the poor slob without a name.” yes, i am indeed a fanboy of breakfast at tiffany’s and all things audrey hepburn! cat fulfills my need for a furry in my life, but being a shop cat keeps him safe from breaking my heart again (or so i’ve convinced myself…ssshhhh…don’t try to convince me otherwise!).
i’ve been bloodless and world-weary of late. fraught with uncertainty as my unemployment is surreptitiously terminated by sanctimonious politicians who believe we are all simply lazy and need to take one of the thousands of poverty level jobs available in food service and hospitality, a field nowhere near my own which was destroyed not only by the pandemic, but by governmental idiocies in the first place…and pays less than half what i was making…grumble, grumble, piss and moan. ha! a fat lot of good all that grouching just did, eh? tomorrow is another day.
to be more productive, i begin again. forging skies. new fragments. anticipating stories. even snipping and dipping a stacklet of shibori indigo moons! too colossal for these fragments, but ripe for impending journeys in stitch and whisper.
now to settle in and needle chant awhile as the rotund moon shimmers outside my window and gentle night breezes cool the fragrant beast at my feet and the bear sleeps in the next room.
namasté
i'm trying to be quiet as no one else is up, but my paints and canvas have been whispering a steady lament for some time and I decided it was time to get them out and let them walk around a bit…
namasté
“i am an artist you know…
it is my right to be mad!”
-e.a. buchianneri
“of course there is
a santa claus!”
-truman capote
“tragedy doesn’t necessarily change us.
more often, i think, it just brings out
more of who we are - or were - all along “
-nora roberts
my dear friends, i know i haven’t been actively posting of late - indeed it’s been so very long that some of you may have forgotten you even followed in the first place - but life rather shook me off my feet a while and i had to set my blog aside, and then of course the longer i left it at rest, the harder it was to summon up the energy to begin again.
i always thought that i’d come back to it one day. it was here, waiting safe, and appreciated by any of those who still stumbled across it. i had more ideas to share, and no less love for my work. i've made some false starts. perhaps this will be yet another. my hope, however, is that i will be able to fan the spark into a healthy flame once again!
this project roll (pictured above) is my latest endeavour. i started with annie downs’ pattern, “homeward bound”. but i had other ideas for construction, design, and ornament. lol. i always do, don’t i?
i quilted it with decorative stitches from one of my younger vintage machines and carried my bunny under the moon theme to the inside work area, never being one for leaving cloth plain. i also bound the work mat instead of using ricrac.
it makes for a wonderfully convenient way to transport appliqué and embroidery projects in progress! my modification of using a pool noodle, rather than the called for mailing tube, makes the core a handy pin cushion, too.
with my latest project safely rolled up inside, i’m ready and able to carry it anywhere, even if it’s only from the sewing room to the living room while sheltering in place!
namasté