laying a foundation

it's strange, sometimes, where a tear will appear. center back of the neck. ripping stealthily. sneakily. but the opportunity to play with fragments of cloth and thread will not be missed!  first, a foundation to strengthen. next will be a layer or three of stitch and fragments. perhaps a skull? a crow? whatever, it will be a fun diversion. creating a quiet little secret hidden beneath the hood of my coat. except for when my ears get cold...

namaste'

small actions - no expectations

"small actions,

quiet

and no expectations."

-anna lisa

this past year has been one of unrealized dreams and postponed goals for me. not for want of trying. not for lack of initiation. but for a loss of focus. day to day work has taken over my life. or life has become obscured by my day to day work. no one should have to (or choose to) work 70-80+ hours a week and sacrifice one's home and friends. one's creativity. indeed, one's very life.

i find myself wondering "why? why have i done this?" reflectling deeply brings the answer in a hushed whisper: "to hide. hide from your feelings. hide from the world. hide from whatever."

when you hide for so long, you forget who you are. how you are. how to move forward. to climb out of the pit you have dug. you become overwhelmed and long to dig deeper. to hide better. but there is only one way out of this trap.

small. deliberate. actions.

so i begin to stitch again. to be more mindful of the life food i take into my body. to stretch and play music. to say "no" gently, but firmly, when asked to take up the gauntlet of un-covered shifts at the cottage. to venture forth into the world with small steps with no expectations beyond to move in some direction. to not just look, but to see each moment. quietly. thoughtfully. savour each step, no matter how small or great, for it is a step to another place. another moment.

this is as close to a new year's resolution as i will come. and it is well and good.

may you all find your moments of joy and fulfillment throughout the new year!

namaste'

fragments of word and cloth

i have a mind to embark upon a new journey. a journey of cloth. and words. i am done with attempting to coerce myself into completing cloths that simply don't have their heart in being completed. that's not to say that they will never find themselves finished. it just means that i am tired of beating myself into submission to try and finish something that isn't ready to complete its cycle of metamorphosis. to this end, i have designated my great-great-uncle's old steam trunk as home for wayward cloths and will continue to visit, live with, and work on (as they allow) on my various creations of cloth and fibre, have pulled my travelling boots on and pointed them in a new direction.

i have an extensive collection of thoughts and words. my own. those of others both known and unknown. while sitting by the fire and allowing my shoulders and neck time to heal this past week, i had a thought or two that ultimately lead me to an idea. one where fragments of word and cloth come together and instill deeper thought by their seemingly incomplete natures.

there have been many whispers bantered about in mind with regards to what will be done with these fragments. incorporate them into something more? or simply allow them to remain in remnant form? i imagine the answers to these whispered wonderings will emerge at a much later time...

in the meantime, the fragments will flow and manifest and simply be allowed to be what they choose to be. transforming a seemingly impossible situation into a very possible one!

namaste'

a little background boro

snow has been promised in the next day or two...and the heat is not working in my truck so i passed some time today stitching a little speculative boro background cloth while waiting for the mechanic to call me with news of its repair. stitching together bits of cotton, linen, silk/linen blend, and rust-dyed cotton, all salvaged from clothes and household linens, to create a background for some embroidery.

i have in mind one of two things. either a continuation of calaveras (perhaps this time with wings?) or the beginning of a series of figure studies in cloth and stitch. once this cloth is finished being needled, i'll have to scan it and print a few copies out in color to play with by sketching in some shapes and figures to see what happens...

it's been really freeing of late, not worrying about what i *must* stitch. but, rather, allowing my hands free reign in creating whatever they are inspired to manifest. even if it is *only* a background cloth!

namaste'

a little brainstorming

click to enlarge

i spent a little time today with paper and cloth. brainstorming. just a little, in lieu of the promised rainstorms that were not forthcoming.

i found myself wondering if i enjoy the brainstorming as much as the stitching because i also enjoy the feel and sound of old paper beneath my pens and pencils. like the salvaged fabric i use in making my cloth, there is something special about old, yellowed paper salvaged from the linings of old books, ledgers and other discarded or overlooked folios. the marks made in ink and graphite in attempt to capture fleeting thoughts and ideas seem at home with the ghosts of other fingers...scribblings, stampings, and old typefaces. torn edges echo the frayed edges of their fabric counterparts. each a continuing of the other. both being steps in the continuing of mind and thought.

it feels like there is an allegory in there somewhere...

now it is time to start getting it down in cloth and thread. a little late-night needle chanting, i think.

namaste'

speculative boro

after untold hours of speculative contemplation and meditative needle chanting, my re-newed pair of denims are complete! the wings and skull were hand embroidered onto salvaged lightweight denim. i chose to stitch the wings down, leaving a raw edge so they will fray and soften during future washings, while needle-turning the skull itself to create a cleaner line. i had originally designed the skull with a dropped lower jaw and tongue, but decided to leave them out because the look become more whimsical than i had wanted. the darker circle and rectangle (still sporting some of the seam ombre and wrapping around to the front of the cuff) are from further up on the salvaged denims that the inserted cuffs were harvested from. the lighter denim square on the left cuff sports a seam from it's previous form. the inserts at the bottom of the cuffs were salvaged from another pair of denims that i had blown out the knees on. i chose to use the back seams which had already begun to fray (from my passion for wearing denims a few inches too long in the inseam so they will bunch around the ankles) rather than from the intact front cuffs so that there wouldn't be a harsh transition from the frayed over cuff to a pristine under cuff.

if you've been following my blog for any time (or know me at all), then you already recognize the skull as a personal symbol that i tend to use a lot. i know it touches some of you with its crypt-worn rasp and chilled breath...but for me it has always been a reminder that life is ephemeral and one must make the most of every moment lest those moments be lost forever!

all in all, i am extremely pleased with the way they turned out.  now to turn my creative gaze upon re-newing a few shirts with some speculative boro.

namaste'