there are places in the dark, empty corners of my mind that i am inexplicably drawn to roam. to wander. aimless drifting. seeking...for some thing i can't ever seem to wrap in a frayed cloth of understanding. it is a place that compels me to venture further into the depths of...no thingness...for there is not even darkness there to cloak my restless in.
a place a part of me believes...or wants to believe...harbors great creativity. hidden somewhere amongst its vast emptiness. if only i could just open these eyes enough to see it.
a quiet, rasping chuckle shuffles across the landscape of my breath as i hear jude observe mirthfully, "joe has gone into story mode again..." her voice tinged with crisp winter apples. and smiles. the glint of her glasses reflecting worlds of creative vision that taunt and tantalize artistic souls near. and far alike. a welcome, inviting sound...
striving to touch the fragile, frayed edges of the muse who drives me deeper into this place, i search deeper. wandering a vastness that only frightens with its emptiness that is filled to bursting with things i just can't quite perceive beyond knowing that they are there. just out of reach. leaving me frustrated. thirsty. yearning.
yet still, my fingers are idle. resting in nests of thread. and scrap. they itch to commence. to embark. to manifest. but they just lay there...
what are they waiting for?
a beginning ..... always the hardest of creatures to find, easily terrified by the weight of anticipation, the responsibility of expectation
ReplyDeleteyes. yes. yes! an excellent description!
Deletethis makes me wonder if your real creative calling isn't making music.
ReplyDeletealthough clothwork is satisfying it seems to have its expressive limitations for a lot of us..I mean the doing of it is satisfying but once done it just doesn't resonate. I'm feeling this too these days.
i dunno. over the decades i have explored dozens of creative venues. they all seem to present the same no thingness at some time or another. sometimes i find ground again and continue. others i don't and move on. i'm still keeping open to the possibilities....
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