bunnies and bernards

whenever i find myself sitting idle, i long to grab a fragment and needle chant a while.  i don't always act on those longings these days. sometimes i breathe into the idleness and just sit with it. relaxing and simply being. i know, for me, this can be an escape.  from what, i'm not certain. so i remind myself how fulfilling the needle and thread can be. allow it to become the meditation that it can be.  to that end, i found myself stitching away at my little purple bunny this evening.  

after an enriching bit of of time with cloth fragments and thread, i took bodhi for a ride.  my little teacup saint bernard. or so i keep telling him.  only 16 months and already 150.6 pounds of puppy. he takes up every bit of bench seat in my truck that isn't already occupied by my own butt.  he loves to spend time with his daddy.  the feeling is mutual.

namaste'

colors speak louder than words

"clouds come floating

into my life, no longer

to carry rain or usher storm,

but to add color to my sunset sky."

-rabindranath tagore

while posting on my instagram account about how i love digging through this oversized basket of hand dyed threads with which to spill a bit of colour on cloth on a rainy day, i was struck by my hoarding tendencies when it comes to art supplies. do i have a problem? should i seek help? divest myself of my treasures? comply with normality??

...nah! not when it allows me to manifest bunnies like this little guy soaking up a little rusty sunshine:

yeah, yeah...i know...he's purple! but he wanted to be purple. honestly!  i'd better get back to stitching him. having only a sketchy body is making him nervous...

namasté

piecing and musing

still sitting in a piecing sort of mood these days. this patriotic pinwheel is coming together quite nicely as a result.  it will make a festive table cloth for upcoming summer festivities by the fire pit! being smaller, and most likely to need frequent cleaning, i think i shall machine quilt this one.  usually, i would rent a long-arm machine, but since it is not so large, i will work on my home machine quilting skills.  it's been a while, so perhaps a few scraps for practice might be wise. ha!

namaste'

giving way

"the creative process

is a process of surrender,

not control."

-julia cameron

having these past few weeks off from work, i've been gifted with something very precious. time. time to contemplate. time to invest in myself. my surroundings. my art.  time for things i have had very little time for these past couple years.  while physical limitations have demanded that i find ways of creating things using a different process than i have become accustomed to, they have also encouraged me to think in new ways. as well as to re-discover old ways.

creatively, i find myself falling back onto past processes with cloth. oiling up the treadle machine and piecing blocks. like these hearts above.  traditional piecing. even traditional quilting fabrics, for i have an extensive collection of quilting fabrics that have languished while i have jumped headlong into salvage and repurposed cloth. ignored for no reason other than my desire to control how i express my creativity. to direct its every movement. stifling it along the way without even realizing it.

i have always been about control. control over myself. my process. my plans.  i know that this sense of control is an illusion. but it is an enticing illusion. full of empty promises that delight the self's desire to be at the helm.  i have seen how grasping for this sense of control can kill one's creativity.  throwing up fences and laying down rules. squelching any real sense of manifesting one's art. one's self.  one must find a way to surrender. to the moment. each moment. to allow the creative process to emerge. whether that creative process is enacted through artistic endeavours, one's employment, cooking a meal, or any other daily task of living.

it's all about the surrender. allowing. being.

namaste'

slowly moving forward

:"it matters not

how slowly you go 

as long as you

do not stop."

-confucius

for an artist working in slow cloth, growing ever slower can be a trial.  though the scar has healed, the hand is taking longer.  months of disuse due to pain and numbness followed by months of restraint in a brace after surgery has left my hand weak.  overcompensation for this in my other hand has raised its own issues as well.  months of physical therapy is beginning to reveal progress, but i still must be cautious.  it reminds me of when i first began to learn to meditate. so many  thoughts and ideas jumping around like unruly monkeys making it difficult to simply be for more than a moment or two.  only now it is the ache and stiffness that slows. foretells tiny electrical shocks and numbness.  i can only manage needle chanting in small bursts. and so i burst and rest. burst and rest.  ever moving forward...

there is joy in these small steps. an opportunity to observe and marvel at the detail and the process. a detachment from the urging thought that one must simply get it done.  there is no room for pressing completion.  only for being with the cloth and stitch.  only for relaxing into the process.  it is quite liberating, really.

funny.  one does not normally think of rabbits and slowness as being harmonious.

namaste'

moon dance

"there are nights

when the wolves 

are silent

and only the

moon howls."

-george carlin

on nights such 

as these, 

the rabbits dance.

it has been a strange and tumultuous year here at manhandled threads.  struggles with depression, physical injury, emotional trauma.  one does not like to think on things such as these.  but to live fully in the moment, one cannot run away from them.  i used to think they were things that had to be endured. i have learned, rather, that they must be embraced. otherwise, one can never make peace with the disturbance.

i have recently been laid off, due to lack of work. the lay off is with "job attached"...which apparently means there is a promise of re-employment when things pick up.  it makes the insurance issues a lot simpler. it also affords me more time to look for something more rewarding for work. as well as it allows me more time to pursue my creative endeavours. hence my digging through long neglected trunks and baskets of late, revitalizing old cloths.  

in the spirit of spring, perhaps, i seem to be drawn to rabbits once again.  if you follow my instagram, you've no doubt been seeing them hop by more often.  this small cloth, moon dance, is one i started a couple years ago and then lost touch with.  it seems fitting to re-emerge now, in a time when i am seeking to fly once more...

namaste'

poking around

"some people have told

me that i'm grumpy; 

it's not something 

that i'm aware of.

it's not like i walk around

poking children 

in the eye...

not very small ones, anyway."

- dylan moran

i've been away from creating anything (pole barns and home remodels notwithstanding) that it would appear that my general demeanor is being affected.  in an effort to move back toward a more affable nature, i began poking around in the old steamer trunks and rustic cabinets that i stored away the more the "traditional" quilting projects i had once planned oh so many years ago when i used to manage a local quilt shop.  enough proverbial water has flowed beneath that bridge that i think i can approach them once again without the negative energies the woman who owned the shop instilled my my quilting experience.  oh! what treasures i found!  some i'm not even certain what my intentions were back then, so they will have to be reworked into something new.  but this! this little packet of oriental fabrics was tied up with string and contained the book from whence came my abandoned plan!

i began first cutting strips.  then triangles. then sewing hexagrams. well, half hexagrams. the two halves will be sewn into rows and then together to avoid awkward seams.  above are a few of the fun little kaleidoscope blocks that have emerged. down in the lower left corner is a stack of 18 more.  out of the frame is a stack of enough triangles grouped together to form 3 times this many hexies.  once they have joined this bunch, it will be off to play on the design wall!

i can hardly wait to see how this turns out!  it feels good to be excited by something creative once again...

namaste'

into lighter moments

"the relationship

between reader and writer

is reciprocal in a way.

we co-create each other.

we are constantly emerging

out of the relationship

we have with others."

-ruth ozeki

while bodhi does not seem to have the same sense of relish for the gently wafting snow sachi once had, i find it immensely invigorating each morning and evening as i drag him out into the cold, crisp air for our four mile constitutional! though, i must say, he sure enjoys snuggling down at my feet afterward as I quietly needle chant.

each stitch i add to community brings me further from the dark avenues my mind has be traveling. into lighter moments. bringing with the light a sense of belonging. to something other than.  it lifts my spirits and makes it easier to take the next stitch...and the next...and the next.  sluggish ideas begin to move through velvet embrace. awaken.  whisper.

it is good.  perhaps the moss will begin to be scraped from this stone as it begins rolling once more. however slowly at first...

namaste'

a going on...

"year's end is neither

and ending nor a beginning

but a going on,

with all the wisdom that

experience can instill

in us."

-hal borland

last year was a strange one for me here in montana.  the latter half being the stranger still...  a new saint came into my life, bringing with him all the joy, and copious shedding hair, that comes with such a delightful creature!  we both promptly had surgeries...though mine incapacitated me for much longer than his.  shortly before the holidays i was finally given the go ahead to start sewing again, but have found myself stuck in a dark corner of mind...unable to bring myself to stitch...

with the turning of the year's wheel has come a renewed sense of purpose. or at least a need to dig myself out of this rut.  my wrist is still tender and won't allow me to stitch for long without screaming out in protest, so i am contenting myself with simple thread chanting. endless miles of stitching on community.  it seems an appropriate cloth to work on at the moment.  one that fosters a sense of belonging. of community.  perhaps this will be a focus cloth for a while. simple stitching...nothing too taxing for the wrist...  slowly rebuild the strength in those tendons and muscles... a good way to spend cold, snowy evenings...

namaste'