a good friend of mine is undergoing extreme transition. his job has been phased out. it happens to so many of us. but when your profession is specialized, it's not like you can just run out and get another one. there is a process to be followed. most likely there will be continued education (not so easy for us 40+ers). he is most likely going to have to move to pursue his education and further employment elsewhere. after all, there aren't that many jobs here in montana...and fewer still of the specialized variety.
he wonders, "will i even be able to make it?" and "will i end up a pauper the rest of my life?" "is there room at the mission for me?" well, the last question won't have to be considered since he has many friends who have offered to open up their homes to him (including myself). however, he is taking it all very hard. and who could blame him? his life's work is hanging in the balance. decisions have to be made.
he's decided to start fresh. he's giving all of his worldly belongings away, save for a dear few necessities, so to ensure an easy transition to where ever it is he will end up. it's hard for him. he's a collector. a collector of memories, furniture, clothes, and things that make him feel at home. it's hard for me to watch, being a collector myself. but, i'm helping him in any way i can. helping him sort. pack. deliver items to new owners.
he is often quiet. introspective. unsure. that, i think, is the most difficult thing to watch. he's a very independent person, so watch...and be there...is all i can do. every spare moment this week as been spent at his side. will continue to be so until we are done deconstructing his life. it's very painful. watching someone condense their life into a few boxes...
i can't help but wonder, "what if it were me?" hopefully, i will never have to find out.
namaste'
p.s. my internet connectivity still languishes while the evil at&t trashes alltel's connections in favor of their own. looks like it may be a month before this is all said and done with. i am not happy with them! i am looking for other options...but will most likely resume regular posting as soon as my friend is finished with needing my help during this move. i may not be able to connect through my own network, but i can always take my laptop to a local hotspot and connect there. don't know why i didn't think of this before!
My heart goes out to your friend. I went through the same transistion 20+ years ago. At the time, I was devistated. Now, I am thankful. It forced me onto a path that I had been afraid to venture down. I emerged stronger, smarter, and happier. Change is difficult and even more so when it is not of your own choosing. I know what I say will not ease his struggle, I wish the words could. My area in Washington State has not been hit hard by the recession and there are jobs in a lot of areas if he wants to think about moving. Hugs to you both.
ReplyDeletethank you, jeannie! i'm quite certain he is devastated as well. i don't know how he couldn't be. my hope is that this road will bring him to new adventures. new beginnings. new growth.
ReplyDeleteMy husband lost his job when the company he worked for shut down and returned to the States. It was like he lost a close relative. The process is long and hard, but you do come out of it, with a renewed vision of who you are and what you can do. One day at a time. In the beginning you mourn. So much of who the man is is caught up in what he does. Not necessarily right but true. May this change become a turning point for good things to come.
ReplyDeletehow lucky he is to have you to help out. Hope he finds a good path to follow which opens up new things for him, he will probably feel very rootless for a while with all those tangible memories "redistributed" into the wide wide world. He's very brave.
ReplyDeleteBeing homeless is something every human fears. Thoreau said, "The most you can do for your friend is to be his friend".
ReplyDeleteit's a tough call, hang in there for him.
ReplyDeleteI understand his pain. My husband has been out of work for over 2 years now. With an MBA he can't even get a job at the Home Depot. It is sad. He keeps trying though, while looking into starting a business of his own, but he isn't sure that is right either. I work but my income is not enough and we have been forced to start taking money out of our retirement acct. We are in our 50's and are a bit concerned as to what our future will hold. I will hold your friend in my prayers and thank our Creator that he has a friend in you.
ReplyDeleteGosh I feel for your friend .I am a textile teacher and they are cutting down the amount of art/textiles offered at our school (WHY ???? I don't understand their reasons for it)...we have just heard about this so I can empathise....i am also a collector of stuff (no actually I am a hoarder ...lets be honest ).it must be a really difficult time for him ...thank goodness he has a wonderful supportive friend like you Joe ...x
ReplyDeleteDitto on what others have already said. My husband was laid off in 2004 and rather than search for a level entry job at his age, started what he dreamed of doing when he retired - a pet sitting business - just a little earlier than planned. He's thankful now that his life took that direction. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you to help. Being there is often enough!
ReplyDelete...I really feel for your friend...having had to shed quite a lot of stuff on a few occasions now....
ReplyDeleteHe's lucky to have such a sensitive and helpful friend close by.
Give each other a hug from me will you :-)
Goodness, that is really intense..... !
ReplyDeleteYou are a good friend Joe....I hope wonderful things lie ahead for your friend.
ReplyDeleteJacky xox
thank you, everyone. it's been a tough week. we've finally gotten everything either delivered to their new homes, or packaged up and moved to his sister's house where he'll be staying for a little while until things balance out and new direction has been perceived and established!
ReplyDeleteit's tough watching someone go through this. i'm quite certain it's even tougher for him to be going through it...